Thursday, May 30, 2013

Loving myself... TODAY!

I have many more ranty things to post, but I thought I'd start here again with something positive.  It does unfortunately again deal with the issue of FAT.  I hope that someday - someday very soon in fact - I will stop even thinking about my size and just LIVE MY LIFE.  But, for the moment, I still have a few issues to deal with and a few things to tell this superficial society of ours before I can drop the subject.

So... positive.  Over the last couple of years I have been getting healthy.  At present, my vital signs are all in the 'normal' range, my doctors describe me as healthy, and I feel GREAT.  I have plenty of energy, I eat well, sleep well, and get plenty of exercise.  I have learnt to limit my indulgence of the tasty things my body doesn't need to rare times and small quantities.  I am still improving this, but I'm pretty damn pleased with my current equilibrium.  I achieved this state very slowly and naturally.  I never went on a 'diet', I never paid a cent to a weight-loss company.  I did this on my own and I did it in a way that allowed me to just continue my life and relationships along the entire journey.  It is not the only way to get healthy, but it's the way I did it and I'm proud of what I've achieved.

My BMI has reduced from where it was, but it is still high.  But that doesn't matter.  I am now a firm advocate of the 'Health at Every Size' approach and intend to follow this life-affirming path into the future (or 'going forward' as we say now - grrr.)  Embracing good-health has not only given me the direct benefits of a healthier body, but it has also offered me a wonderful antedote to the fat-haters.  Because if anyone tries to tell me I should lose weight for my health, I know they are wrong.  They can no longer claim that as their excuse for 'worrying about me'.  All they have left is the truth - that they want me to lose weight for their own aesthetic tastes.  And to that attitude I have always been immune.  You want to tell me how to live my life for your own superficial reasons?  Well, you know exactly where you can shove that idea. :)

But, well, I'm not quite, not 100%, happy with my new situation.  I had sort of hoped that by getting healthy I would also achieve my ideal figure.  And that has not really occurred.  So this is the final hurdle I must overcome - my disappointment with my healthy body's appearance.  (The final personal hurdle that is, there are still many things society needs to fix, never fear!)  For a completely together and mentally-healthy future, I must accept that this is the body I am to live with.  This, NOW, is my healthy weight, my healthy body, and so I must learn to love it.

So, to 'put it out there' as they say, I offer these affirmations of my reality.

I will never be slim because:

- I am already healthy.
- I am content with my current balance of indulgence to nutrition, and activity to laziness.  My lifestyle works for me emotionally and socially as well as physically.
- Cream and butter make things taste better, they are therefore necessary occasional indulgences.
- A pork roast with crackling and all the trimmings is one of the most spectacular inventions of all time.  I refuse to live a life that entirely rejects spectacular inventions.
- Running is unpleasant.  It is bad for your joints, sweat-inducing and therefore inconvenient, and mostly unnecessary.  Also, it is unpleasant.
- Counting calories is one of the most boring activities on the planet.
- Reading and researching and writing and talking are all best enjoyed sitting on a comfortable sofa.  And they are all best enjoyed often.
- Wine is delicious and induces important conversations.
- My husband loves my body just the way it is, and my husband is by far the best person on the planet, and the one I most often want to be naked with.
- People who don't like fat people are superficial morons.  I don't like superficial morons.

And being fat forever is just fine, because:

- Healthy fat people may live longer than healthy slim people.
- Fat-hating is disgusting and needs to be stamped out.  This can only be achieved by fabulous fat-people being fat and fabulous.
- I personally find too many curves far sexier than too few, including on my own body.
- People who spend all day thinking and talking about their bodies are dull and unpleasant. People who enjoy life are fun. I want to be around fun people, and be a fun person myself.

- Fat fashion is fun.  Being part of the sassy, self-loving, fat-gang is fun.
- Self-loving fat people can step off the constantly-worrying-about-body-size treadmill, and just BE.
- Fat people are the best people to cuddle.