Saturday, January 14, 2017
In my former life when I watched adult television regularly, there was an episode of Beautiful People in which they defined camp-ness as doing things 'as if'. Now I'm not sure if I could be considered 'camp' (even if I have fancied myself cool enough to be a fag-hag), but either way I am absolutely loving the notion of doing things 'as if'.
So when I'm driving to work in my hail-damaged Hyundai, I sing along to the tunes blaring on the radio 'as if' I'm on the French Riviera in my convertible Jaguar (brunswick green, with matching leather driving gloves). And when, over these hot days, I've had a few minutes to myself in my Big-W paddling pool, I drink my glass of cask-wine 'as if' it were the finest champange, and look up to the frangiapani tree next to the fence 'as if' it were my view in a luxury resort.
And now, typing at my dining table surrounded by house-work, I do so 'as if' I am a great writer in my secluded study with inspirational, landscape views.
I can wear my Cancer Council sunglasses as if they were Prada, my op-shop dresses like they're one-off Valentino frocks, and my more-than-chubby body and un-styled hair with the air of a Hollywood starlet.
The other night hubby and I watched a series about an arms-trader and the people trying to bring him down (and those propping him up). We tussled over who was most naughty at wanting to stay up for yet another episode (the treat of ADULT TELLY was a bit much for us), which was a lovely reminder of just how much I love living with my best-pal, soul-mate husband. And in the morning we both awoke relieved that we were only dreaming that we had an arms deal to do, affairs to hide, and death to avoid.
But perhaps even more of a relief was looking at the luxurious lives on screen and feeling smug; knowing that I could never be lured by money. Poverty, even of the suburban-Western variety that could befall me, is clearly not fun; but my current middle-class reality more than satisfies. A life of wholesome work, a loving family, and healthy illusions of grandeur, are all I really need.
If I could just find a way to clean the house 'as if', I'd be set for life.